I'm bringing sexy back (Not)

For the record, sexy left this girl a long time ago. Sexy hasn't been seen in quite some time. Sexy packed up and left town. Sexy is GONE and I don't think Sexy is ever going to return. Sure, I've tried to write and call but Sexy never answers. Sexy ain't coming back to these parts. Oh, how I miss her.

I wore my new tight tank top for my grueling, relentless workout tonight. (Which was so NOT sexy) Oh, yes, I did and I even sported my new outfit on over to the soccer fields to drop off my two little hell-yuns at soccer practice. (only because I had to go workout not because I thought I looked good - just to be clear) And honestly, I felt and looked like a total jack-ass. Who do I think I am wearing a tight tank top and spandex capris? I don't think I'm anybody -that's who I think I am. I certainly don't look like an exerciser - I look like a two-ton Tilly trying to pull off an exerice outfit because my trainer thought it would be more motivating. Well, hell-yes it's more motivating. I look like one of those 300 pound girls you see at the Wal-mart thinking they are all that with their daisy dukes and muffin tops and more rolls than Pilsbury. God, I wish I had their confidence. Only, I KNOW I'm not all-that and I also KNOW I have more rolls than Pilsbury. Oh, I am fully aware. It was brutal having to watch all those bulges and rolls flopping around in the mirror at the gym while I sprinted on the treadmill, did up-downs on the step, jumping jacks, trainer-haters, mountain climbers, elliptical machines, more treadmills, jumping jacks, frog jumps, jumped rope, jumping jacks, suicides (which by th way is a really good name for that exercise because after doing 4 sets of those - I wanted to go sit in a garage with the car running and the garage door shut -- but there was no garage to park my car so I just had to go back in do more jumping jacks.) Then there were squats and lunges and more jumping rope and floor exercises - planks, sit-ups -throwing and catching a medicine ball while laying down then sitting up and throwing again, more planks, the roman chair, more sprinting, more ab exercises, donkey kicks, side kicks all for 2.5 hours. Did I mention the jumping jacks? Which, according to my heart rate monitor said I burned just over 1400 calories. I'm tired and I really miss french fries. Really and truly I do. There is no better food on earth. But now, me and my tight tank top are motivated so I can't have french fries - so now I'm tired and ticked. Plus, I have to get right up at 4:45 in the morning to do it all over again just so I can keep fighting the fat. Maybe, one day, sexy might answer - I doubt it but a girl can dream.