I Don't Care About Your Back

Always, at the end of these 2-3 hour workouts, all-business Brenda has us do some "floor work." (ie. abs and leg exercises) Well, yesterday, she handed me this weird looking contraption. It was handles with a wheel in the middle. She said get on your knees, cross your ankles and roll this thing out until your in a push up position then roll it back. And do that 50 times x 4 sets. (Sure, no problem - I'll get right on that.)Sounds easy, right? Well, let me tell you it's not. It's not easy at all. So, this lady next to me asks Brenda, "I don't have to do that thing do I?" Brenda replies, "oh, no, you're no where near ready for that - plus, I don't want you to hurt your back." So, I piped up and asked, "well what about my back?" She says, "oh, I don't care about your back." Come to think of it - she probably doesn't care about my back. I mean, I'm not a paying customer. I'm sure she cares alot about the backs and all the appendages of paying customers. But, me, I'm just a lowly 'ol fat peon she chose for her contest. I'm so glad I have thick skin (literally and figuratively speaking) and I don't get my feelings hurt very easily. By the way...pun inteded.

So, I start rolling this thing out - so scared that I'm going to fall flat on my face and the wheel of this...this thing - would leave a skid mark right down my forehead all the way to my chin and who wants to walk around like that? Not me. I already have to walk around with 500 extra unwanted pounds. I sure don't need a skid mark down my face bringing me extra attention. No sirree, I don't need that at all. But anyway, I was rolling it back and forth, back and forth about 9000 times and she said, "now I want you to roll it out and turn it to the side to work your obliques. You know, like your rolling out a pie crust. Which I know YOU know all about doing that." Then she laughed so hard. And I laughed so hard too because she was right - I do know alot about rolling out pie crust. Mmm. Pie crust. Flaky. Buttery. Goodness. I have to go now. I'm going to go do some sit-ups and think about pie crusts and fighting the fat.