Dehydration

Every month before our weigh-ins we dehydrate ourselves. There are several reasons that we do this: 1)it takes a few extra pounds off of the scale 2)it helps with our pictures or at least that is what all-business Brenda tells me and 3)it takes a few extra pounds off the scale. Which is truly, my only goal in life. Well, that and raising 2 beautiful, happy and well adjusted children to grow up and be productive citizens of society. Oh, and maintaining a happy and healthy marriage to G-Pat and not neccessarily in that order. Ok, so I have 3 goals in life. I like to keep it real. Keep it simple. That's just how I roll.

Anyway, so I started the dehydration process yesterday morning which consists basically of not taking in any liquids until after the weigh-in. Did I mention I also had to work out yesterday afternoon for 3 hours without drinking a drop of delicious H2O? Then, get back up at o'dark hundred for another workout (all cardio) without a sip of water. Now, it may not sound too hard but let me tell you friends, it is pretty difficult. I'm parched. Now, you may be asking yourselves, Kelli, why would you do such a thing? It's just water weight and as soon as you drink anything -it's all going to come right back on. And to that, I say, yes, you're right, good point, can't argue with you there...however as I stated previously, 1) it takes a few extra pounds off of the scale. 2)it helps with the picture taking to make me not look so bloated. And 3)it takes a few extra pounds off the scale.
Last night, after our workout, me, Rosemarie, and all-business Brenda went to Outback for a little dinner because it was so late after the workout none of us wanted to go home and cook. The waiter came around and asked, "what can I bring you ladies to drink?" I piped up first with my cotton-mouth and said, "water, please, water." Brenda jumps in and says, "you can't have water -we're dehydrating, remember?" Then she says, "ok, waiter, let them each have a glass of water with lemon." He brings our water and Miss Brenda says, "ok but just little sips...just enough to wet your whistle." Did you ever see the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks? Well, I could feel his pain at that very moment. I would draw the water up through my straw - holding one end of the straw with my finger then barely touching it to my tongue in between my bites of salmon and green beans. Now, I realize I had it slightly better than being stranded on a deserted island and trying to get water to survive from the rain on a palm leaf. I mean, I was sitting in an air-conditioned Outback restaurant where I was being waited on and didn't have to go kill my own fish but still, I could relate. That's all I'm sayin'.
Then, came this morning's weigh-in and pictures. Well, the dehydration worked. I lost 10 lbs for the month which puts me at 30 pounds and 30 inches (I think) in the 8 weeks since I started this journey. Which by the way, I hate that word. Journey...The Bachelor and Bachelorrete shows have totally ruined that word for me since they use it in every other sentence. Oh, and amazing. Totally ruined that word for me too. They say things like..."this journey has been so amazing." Or..."that Vienna is such an amazing girl - I'm so glad she chose to go on this journey with me." Or..."Oh, Roberto, what an amazing guy. And since we decided to for-go our individual rooms and stay as a couple in the fantasy suite, he took me on a journey like no other. It was like, so amazing." So see, I hate those two words and shall now banish them from my vocabulary forever.
Sorry, I realize none of this makes sense but that is why you (my faithful 4 readers) keep coming back - because you never know what you're gonna get. Gotta go rehydrate now and continue on my journey of fighting the fat. Dammit, I did it again.