Sugar

I'm sorry it's been a few days but I've been so busy.  We have friends in town visiting and I've been playing hostess and spending the last two days outside at a soccer tournament.   I have heat exhaustion.  I think it is a hundred and forty degrees outside.  Will it ever get cool here? 

Back to the story I promised.  I have to first apologize to my four faithful readers who most likely already know this story but I think it is too funny not to share.  This happened about ten years ago.  It was during a time when clothes were all decked out with rhinestones and sequins.  Back during a time when little skinny thangs were sporting around t-shirts that said things like, "angel" or "hottie"  or "cutie"  or "little devil."  Do you remember this time? 

I think it might be making a comeback.  I have been seeing some skinny thangs around here with all kinds of bedazzled clothing.  Bedazzled hats, belts, t-shirts and even jeans --some of these clothes have more bling than P-Diddy.   

Well, one day I was at the mall and wandered into the tent and awning factory to find some clothes.  Actually, it was just a plus-sized women's clothing store (you know the one).  The womens' version of a big and tall except the only requirement is to be big not tall.  Let me also point out a very big pet peeve of mine.  I do not understand why these plus-size stores feel the need to try to copy the same designs as the skinny folk wear.  Fatties around the world usually want to hide their fat rolls under a simple cardigan set.  We don't want to walk around looking like Skinny Skeeter trying to pull off a pair of daisy dukes.  Seriously, we can't do it.  We won't do it.  I'm sorry, sometimes I need to vent.  Now, back to the story...

As I'm scanning the rack, I find a white, soft, cotton, t-shirt that says,
S U G A R written across the chest in glittery, shimmery rhinestones.  I held up the shirt to the sales clerk and said, "Please tell me y'all are not selling a lot of these shirts."  She said slightly shocked, "Why? Don't you think they are so cute?" 

I replied, "Um, no this is NOT cute and could you please tell me why in the HELL would you put a FOOD PRODUCT on a fat woman's t-shirt? Especially a food product outlined in glittery, shimmery rhinestones?  Sugar, please!  Why not just bedazzle on there...I HEART TWINKIES?"   
The sales clerk was a little tiffed and offended and needless to say, I left there without a stitch of clothing. 

I also find it funny how department stores name the sections of the women's clothing.  For example, one day I was in a big-time, foo-foo, upscale department store...Just a hint...it starts with a N and ends in a M. 

My friend, April, was visiting (who by the way, is not a fatty and is very beautiful...inside and out) and I humored her by going in to this store because I now live in the big city and there is no N_ _ _ _ _ _ _ M where she lives.  This is not my kind of scene.  I'm way too cheap.  I'm way more comfortable buying my clothes from the Wal-mart or if I feel like really loosening up the purse strings, I may splurge and go to Target. 

We were browsing around at all the over-priced clothing and I said, "oh, I would like to go over to their plus-size section and see if I can find some shorts."  I look up and scan the different sections.  I see Petite and Juniors and a section for the Working Woman and then low and behold...ENCORE.  I told April, "I'll bet you anything that ENCORE section over there is for the fatties.  I bet they call it the ENCORE section because that's a nice way of saying,"we know you fat chicks come back for 2nd's." 

We snorted and laughed so hard I think we wet ourselves.   Then, we got kicked out of N_ _ _ _ _ _ _ M's because they realized we soiled their marble floor.  Just kidding...that last part is not true.  We did not soil the marble floors at N_ _ _ _ _ _ _M.  But we did snort and laugh. 

Now, I have to go get on the treadmill and keep fighting the fat because I never want to shop in the ENCORE section again.