Lunges

I do lunges. 

When I workout with all-business Brenda I do A LOT of lunges. 

I'd rather be doing lounges.  That's not really a word.  What I really mean is that I would rather be lounging not lunge-ing.  (Lunging just does not seem to be the correct way to spell lunge-ing -- I am aware that lunge-ing is not correct either but it's just how I'm going to spell it today.  I'm a rule-breaker that way.  It's just how I roll.) 

But I've done too much lounging.  That is why I'm two-ton-Tilly and am now having to fight the fat.  (Oops, sorry, April!) (April doesn't like it when I call myself two-ton-Tilly.  So since I've lost a few pounds, I will honor her wishes and now refer to myself as one-and-a-half-ton-Tilly.) It just doesn't have the same ring to it - but I will go with it.

When I lunge, I am specifically trying to fight the fat on, in and around my hips, thighs, glutes and hamstrings.    Let me tell you...my hips, thighs, glutes and hamstrings are revolting.  They are pissed that I made them do eight hundred and forty-two lunges yesterday.  Today, my lower body does not want to move.  My lower body is saying, "no, we are staying in bed and lounging--ALL DAY!"  But I have things to do today, like buying Halloween costumes for two little hell-yuns and laundry and fitting in a little cardio workout at some point and doing my business in the bathroom.

 I've been dreading going to the restroom all day today because my lower body hurts so bad.  I'm scared, people.  I'm really, really, scared. 

I think I will have G-Pat install a handicap rail in my bathroom.  I surely need something to hang on to while I try to lower myself down to the toilet and I can't rely on my thighs and hamstrings to help safely land my buttocks on the potty.  They might just give out.  Then, where would I be?  But laid out on the cold tile of my bathroom floor soiling myself.  It's a chance I'm not willing to take. 

Maybe, all-business Brenda was right and maybe I need to just invest in some of those adult diapers after all.  I'm sure it is cheaper than installing a handicap rail.  

For now, I will shuffle along and get my chores done so I can go back to bed and lounge and think about fighting the fat.